If you’re wondering what will happen when you stop breastfeeding, I hope my words will give you some insight and provide some much-needed comfort. It’a highly emotional process, and for my daughter and I, our weaning took several months. We didn’t just stop breastfeeding. It was an ongoing thing.
We’d stop, and we’d start again. We’d had enough, and then we needed more again. We thought we were done with it, and then we realized we needed the comfort again.
Let me tell you, it’s not easy to stop breastfeeding. There is so much emotion, love and attachment involved. In the same turn, breastfeeding can drain you (no pun intended); emotionally, physically and mentally.
There were times when I wanted to give up and throw in the nursing bra. And there were times where it was all I wanted to do. I just wanted to get cozy with my little girl, peering into each other’s souls and just breastfeed.
Below are some words I wrote when my daughter and I ended our breastfeeding journey.
Our Breastfeeding Journey Has Come to a Bittersweet End
Oh my heart. This sweet little girl and I completed our breastfeeding journey a few months ago.
16 months of nursing my babe.
They were the most heartfelt.
They were the most trying.
As a I write this I feel good. I’m smiling. My heart feels warm.
Do I miss breastfeeding?
Yes.
I miss the connection.
I miss the intimacy.
I miss the endless cuddles.
I miss being her hero.
Do I miss breastfeeding?
No.
I’m loving having my freedom back. Breastfeeding is time-consuming AF!
My nipples are not sore from toddler nibbles.
I don’t have to pump.
My breasts have shrunk some (thank gawd!).
I don’t have to wear nursing bras.
My shirts are no longer stretched at the neck/
My breast are mine once again.
I can go on.
I cried numerous times as she weaned herself. I cried when she went on a nursing strike (yes, those exist). I didn’t cry when our breastfeeding journey came to an end. Well, not right away. It took a month. It was a bittersweet release.
We connect in new ways.
We are closer than ever.
We cuddle even more now.
I will always be her hero, and so will Daddy.
This past month Victoria has taken an interest in “boo” again, especially when I change in front of her. She runs to my legs, does a quick burrow and says “hi. Boo? Boo?” It is so damn adorable.
I smile at her and say “all done, baby.” She giggle and runs around saying “all done! all done!” and resumes playing with her toys.
We may be all done, but all that same love is still there.